Sunday, March 08, 2009

The Ides of MARC H!!!!!

Yes, I left a space btw the c and the h.

Why? Figure it out.

Well, the ides are a few days off but you get the idea.

All is quiet on the southern most western coast. The recession is slowly sinking towards us and its scary yet all is still unknown. Will the regime of Obama pull us out of the mess Carter/Reagan/Bush/Clinton/Bush put us in? Are we sinking further? Bernanke won't tell who's getting the dough. Trillions of bucks are going somewhere...but are they going to us?

How does a photographer work out a bailout plan for himself? As the news drones on about ballouts, scams, and whatnot, I can't help but to wonder about a handout coming our way in the photo industry. We, as most know, don't make enough of an impact to foster Congressional committees, Senate hearings, and labor union strikes. We carry on, holstering our depreciating army of cameras, computers, and the likes hoping the wire services, magazines, corporations, and events will call us, raise their rates, give us more jobs, and ensure we have enough jobs to carry us on through this dipping economy.

Ha! I can hear roar of the readers in the backroom! Obama's handouts don't flow this way says the hands that hold the money. We had better open a bank, insurance company, or a ponzi scheme to gain any greens that are being thrown out in absolute disregard. The stock market, along with our savings and investments, are tanking. The world is sinking.


Hmmm....I wonder.

SO how do we survive, fellow bugger off-ers? I don't know. Don't buy anything camera related is what I think. Start lowering rates and expectations as well as don't buy those once needed shoes, sofa, or six-pack if it means you don't have enough for gas, grub, and rent/mortgage. If you have a non-photo degree, start dusting off your resume and get ready...

beyond that...

I've though of ways to get a handout from the Obama regime:

1. Start a ponzi scheme. Make sure to sell to all races and colors to ensure you don't get called a dirty-"whatever." Carry a Bible, wear a kippa, or grow a beard to court and declare you are an oppressed minority and ask for a bailout to save yourself and your clients. All the while, stay in your penthouse under house arrest and defy public demands to turn over your 7 million dollar pad or your wife's multi-million dollar bank accounts (all FDIC insured, no less.)

2. Create an investment company, buy toxic debt, bundle it together (hide it) and sell it to other greedy investors hoping to make a quick buck.

3. Open a bank, make bad investments, and demand the tax payers bail you out.

4. Open an insurance company, make bad investments, threaten to sink the economy by not covering the insured, and demand taxpayer bucks.

5. Don't pay your mortgage on a house you never were able to afford (think--flip it in 3 years before the note balloons) demand the bank help and demand a handout from the gov.

6. Create a wonderful killing weapon, bomb, or missile. War is always vogue regardless of the party. "We'll get our troops out of Iraq and SEND 17,000 to Afghanistan!)

7. Get on Oprah (or similar talk show) and beg Obama to bail you out!

8. Pray to Jesus/Allah/Buddha or whomevah for some major help with that cell phone bill.

9. I ran out of ideas.

I guess best to just follow 8...and even then, who knows.

4 comments:

Michael J. Bernard said...

Not only is Obama a lazy slacker who is spending millions of dollars entertaining and smoozing late into the night at the White House, but he is a confirmed narcissist with no real interest in the day to day work of being President.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1543285/the_ploy_of_inaction.html?singlepage=true&cat=75

mB

txhawaii said...

I'm sorry, did you mean Hollywood Obama?

Ros said...

I want to see you on Oprah hehe

Over here, the PM is handing out money left, right and centre. Not sure if it's a good idea or not though, at least long term.

txhawaii said...

why are we not getting handouts? are we the wrong color, economic background, or just too middle class?